It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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