YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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