Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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