P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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