Swine flu. Run for my life!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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