where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
