I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
