There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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