I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
