A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
and she was petting her beer can
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
