Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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