as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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