All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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