dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize