Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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