Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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