i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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