Dual....:-)
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
