if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
