Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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