At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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