Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
