in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
