They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
