well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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