Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
