i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
