How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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