My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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