Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
