I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
