Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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