You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
