You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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