Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
