I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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