he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
