would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize