Your dad touched me again.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Randomize
