We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize