omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
