ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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