So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
