Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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