god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want nice things and good sex
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
