You can't special order awesome
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
