Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
