I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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