yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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