I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
