yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
