apparently the secret to your success is patron
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
