i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
