You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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