your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
