Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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