thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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