i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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