Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
